What Does it Mean to Have Cold Feet?

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What Exactly is Cold Feet?

Just what exactly is cold feet? The term can refer to a psychological reaction as well as a physical reaction related to health. Cold feet in the physical sense may be a reaction to cold outdoor or indoor temperatures as well as be the result of other health-related causes. The meaning of the psychological reference is worth looking at in regards to marriage.

"Cold Feet" - The Saying

"You have a case of cold feet," someone says to you after you have backed out of an agreement, such as a purchase of a vehicle or of marriage on the wedding day. It means loss of nerve and withdrawal of confidence in your choices. This is used often in urban slang and is used to describe those about to be married who are filled with doubt.

Cold Feet - Before the Wedding

Doubts about getting married are common; an article by Benedict Carey in the New York Times, discusses the research that found that those who think they might be making a mistake are more likely to eventually divorce.

As the wedding day approaches, those with doubts tend to dismiss these fears as just pre-wedding jitters. In fact, warning signs can be ignored in the hustle and bustle of preparing for the wedding. It can be hard to pull out of the arranged event, when the venue is booked, invitations ordered, caterer chosen, band invited, and everything else that goes along with a big wedding.

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What Does It Really Mean?

The nagging feeling that something isn't quite right and that a mistake is being made is part of cold feet. It might be a voice within that keeps yelling, "Stop Now!" or any other words that tell you to end it.

One can ignore that voice because it is just too embarrassing to stop the wedding planning. Losing the deposit and other financial woes are just part of cancelling a wedding. Losing the good will of friends and relatives can be a strong reason to not stop something that seems to be a mistake.

Lost Loves

If you really love someone else, and that is giving doubt, is just one reason to have cold feet. A more difficult reason to deal with is that you are having doubts about the whole thing. One uncommon phenomenon found to occur the night before the wedding day is that one of the partners has sex with an old lost lover as a goodbye to them; the next day they walk down the aisle with their new love.

People questioned about this reaction mentioned that as they were marrying their present love, they wished that it was the former lost love instead. Yet they go ahead with the marriage, and years later, when the lost love contacts them again, they leave their marriage and go back to their former lover.

An article in Psychology Today discusses the cold feet syndrome at length. It is a serious problem when doubts arise before a wedding and are buried beneath a flurry of activity. Feelings should be taken into account and in time, they will surface again. Maybe it is not so bad to have cold feet, in this case.

About the Author

Kayla Clough is the email specialist at OurStart . Kayla is a recent graduate of Eastern University in PA where she majored in Marketing and Human Resources. Kayla loves all things fashion, her golden retriever Max, and coffee. When she is not working, you can find her binge watching Sex in the City and baking her latest find on Pinterest.

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